when your antivirus software is sending you threats, it's time to heave home

And I quote, "Your subscription has expired! Expiration date: Thursday, June 12, 2008. You can no longer download security updates. Your computer may begin to perform more slowly and erratically as malicious software begins to infest the hard drive and memory.

Renew your subscription now to restore your protection!"


Wait a minute. Did that subscription reminder just THREATEN me? Not only will I not renew - I'm launching a full on WAR. Let me just say, that I don't enjoy getting threatened from A POP UP (or hack copywriter, which I imagine is the source). AND, after a not so enjoyable day.

And thus, I imagine they will not enjoy getting complaints from me. By complaints, I mean - watch out.

A Story About the Body, Robert Hass

The young composer, working that summer at an artist's colony, had watched her for a week. She was Japanese, a painter, almost sixty, and he thought he was in love with her. He loved her work, and her work was like the way she moved her body, used her hands, looked at him directly when she made amused or considered answers to his questions. One night, walking back from a concert, they came to her door and she turned to him and said, "I think you would like to have me. I would like that too, but I must tell you I have had a double mastectomy," and when he didn't understand, "I've lost both my breasts." the radiance that he had carried around in his belly and chest cavity--like music--withered, very quickly, and he made himself look at her when he said, "I'm sorry. I don't think I could." He walked back to his own cabin through the pines, and in the morning he found a small blue bowl on the porch outside his door. It looked to be full of rose petals, but he found when he picked it up that the rose petals were on top; the rest of the bowl--she must have swept them from the corners of her studio--was full of dead bees.

The Irrevocable Uniting of Eggs and Flour: Ari and Timothy, November 15, 2008

This past weekend, I was honored to serve as a bridesmaid for a rockin' and fantastic gal who I very much admire, the former Miss Ariel Gillcoatt.

And it was this weekend, serving as a lovely bridesmaid, that I realized that it's approaching that time in my life. The time that weddings completely take over. In fact, it may not be approaching. Could it be that it's HERE? I think - yes.

Weddings always give me a bittersweet feeling. My very cynical side wants everyone to just WAIT. Stop. Because I don't think it will last. AND, mostly...because I'M waiting. Can't these people see? Stop being such stupids. Hold up.

But at precisely the same time...why would they wait? If you think you know that you want to spend the rest of your being with somebody, why don't you start right now? That makes sense. But still - the negative inevitably beats up the meager positive. And mostly, I end up asking why. Mostly.

Fortunately for all parties involved, this particular wedding was no such case. This marriage was one that I not only didn't doubt, but was and am fully behind. This one will be rock solid. Fo' sho.

The ceremony was held at the Anthem Country Club, a city just north of Phoenix with a panoramic view of the Valley and a feeling of serenity and nature. Keeping to their shared passions, the wedding was held outside. "The joining of egg and flour," the officiary said, "to create pancakes." And so, they did.

Other than one pain-in-my-ass-bridesmaid (and believe me, she nearly ruined me), the whole deal was simply delightful. The air was thick with hope and love and a feeling of celebration, the weather was more perfect than we could have dreamed, the bride and groom couldn't have been more in love, more dazzling or more ready to devote themselves to one another, and of equal importance...the alcohol was flowing.
And it flowed. After the traditional celebratory dancing to "Shout," "Brick House" and a variety of slow dances (which I participated with Meggie in), we were red-faced and quite tipsy.

Two shots of tequilla fizz later, Meggie and I headed home... shortly after Ari and Timothy's profanity-garnished vehicle pulled away to the Arizona Biltmore for an evening we all know they've both been waiting entirely too long for (ahem, Timothy - 29 years).

As the rattling of the tin cans behind their love-mobile quieted the farther they pulled away, it made me think. Ari is pulling away. To go on a honeymoon. To come back and live in a house. With a BOY. And to share a closet with him. Share her bathroom, her milk. Wait a minute. Never again would she just be Ari. And it was at that moment that it set in. Up came the bittersweet feeling that always erupts, and so frequently sets into my stomach when I think of weddings: uncontrollable happiness... and deep sadness that things are changing.

November 15, 2008 - Ari and Timothy Borg. Two more pancakes join the rest.

This weekend, I'm heading up to Denver to help one of my long-time friends shop for her wedding dress.

I mean seriously - it just doesn't stop.

Which again, just goes to show, a girl can't get a break.

The Weekend Word

"You Don't Tell a Girl to be CALM when she's already calm." Meggie Roberts

Scream It Off

It's been too frequent lately that I've had to stop myself from screaming out loud (at work, in the middle of dinner, cleaning the house, at work, in traffic, at work, working out, at work, at work, at work)...

Last night was the first time in a while that I simply didn't hold back, and it was when I heard on the radio that Obama had just won the election against my most feared opponent, McCain and Palin. Obama had won the presidency! I let loose.

I screamed as I was driving...so loud, that my foot pressed harder on the gas and I could feel the relief spreading through my body. I screamed the entire way home.

And it felt so good. It felt so so incredible. Everything has been so bottled up lately with the election, and the shape of the economy and the proper-ness of the day job. Sometimes, screaming can be so sensational.

Recommendation: TRY IT

It's interesting to see the way we change throughout the course of one year. It doesn't seem like long, but when it's in your 20's, it might as well be a decade - hair styles, life goals, political preference, hell, even sexual preference can all change significantly in the course of a year. I'm no exception to this theory.

Activity of choice to blow off steam - check
Hair Change - um, check
Life Goals - good god, check, check
Willingness to take a [flu] shot - check

In fact, my arm is sore. Apparently I demand flu shots, in direct contrast to before, when I would run a million miles before succombing to that process. AND oddly enough, I run a million miles to train for a half marathon, that I'm actually paying for. I think I've gone mad.

I have to get back to work. Bleh.

OCD, I has it

Those that know me well (and those that don't, frankly) would be quick to point out my quickness to become obsessed with a variety of things. Things that scare me, things that are completely unknown to me and things that I find odd or amusing.

Off the top of my head, the below list is a collective compilation of recent obsessions:

1. Possums
2. Southern Flea Markets
3. Skunks
4. Running
5. FBI's Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives
6. Idioms

My most recent obsession being, idioms. Why is it that the history of certain phrases that we use each day are so damn interesting? Let me shed some light on my most recent idioms of choice:

1. Clean your clock (I plan to single-handedly bring this one back. Although it has, and I assume still is, in use in the Bell household, I have a hunch, that's its sole use).
2. Go fly a kite
3. He's planted his last potato (Swedish idiom meaning "he's had it")

I plan to research more about the backgrounds of these, and many others tomorrow, likely at work.

Other equally important occurances tomorrow: the election and the arrival of Dan and Suz. Speaking of obsessions, there's another one: I can't invite or have guests in my home if it's not completely spotless. SO, I'm off to clean.