The Teachings of a Two-Year-Old Genius

Having had a few days to unwind after my two-year-old nephew, Mr. Marcus, took Arizona by storm (one of those unwind days spent battling food poisoning), it didn't take me long to realize how much I missed the little redhead. No real surprise there I suppose, but as I reflected more on my week-long visit with Marcus, I started to think of the small takeaways this two-year old bundle of energy left with me. Now, more than ever, I'm certain of his genius status.

A few do's and don'ts from the experience of an unexperienced "Aunt Bekah"(yes, this abbreviated version of my name seems to be putting down roots despite my best efforts):

Do
   Go running with him in the wee hours of the morning. When spotting a large group of disease-ridden, disorderly, head-bobbing, idiot pigeons in a plaza, acknowledge Marcus' shrills of excitement by searching deep within yourself, pointing the running stroller in the proper direction and charging straight ahead into the lot.

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Conquer your fears; it ends up being fun[ish]. Pictured below: post-pigeon conquering, a still frazzled Aunt Bekah, and accomplished and seemingly erudite, Marcus.

Do
   Make dance parties, playtime, nap time, bedtime and bath time a priority every day.

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Amidst a busy and unpredictable day, pencil in time for yourself. And bathe.

Don't 
   Attempt a diaper change without being armed with quality distractions. Helpful interferences can range from long hair to plastic zoo animals to engaging in conversation. "Who else likes their diaper changed, Marcus?" The answer is nearly always, "Unca Beau!"

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: My 30-year-old brother wears diapers.

Do
   Take him on his first Arizona hike, armed with water, sunscreen and high expectations of just how far he'll make it.

Don't 
   Be let down when the rocks along the trail are much, much more interesting and we come to a staggering halt three minutes up the trail to instead take a seat and watch everybody else hike past.

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Placing exceedingly high (in this case, olympic baby) expectations on a person can sometimes prove unsatisfactory.
   
Don't
   Expect things to be on a schedule, in order or even slightly clean and put together. Don't expect your clothes to remain clean, and against your best OCD impulses, don't pick up the child by his hands in an attempt to put him in the sink, rinse off his oatmeal-stained self and avoid getting it on yourself. Ultimately, the oatmeal/cottage cheese/avocado will conquer.

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Stop being such a neat-freak.

Do
   Wear monkey pajamas to sleep, play with plastic monkeys during the day and visit live monkeys at the zoo.

Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Don't take yourself too seriously. Also, monkeys are pretty awesome.

Do
   Turn everyday activities into song, theatre and/or some sort of an attempted foreign accent. For example, while purchasing Bandaids at Target, the mere incorporation of a British accent while informing Marcus, "Iii gooooot Bandaids!" was top-notch, entertainment gold the entire shopping experience.




Two-Year-Old Takeaway: Have fun. Speak in an accent. Sing (or whistle) whenever appropriate.

Don't
   Be afraid to toss negotiation into the mix. One more bite of green beans, and you can have a yogurt puff. Put Bear and Gorilla away and we can go for a walk outside. If you can count to three, I will turn on Neil Diamond and start a dance party.


Two-Year-Old-Takeaway: Two-year-olds are no different than adults. Our lives are filled with choices... including the "choice" of dressing in matching outfits below. The picture is a bit blurry, but that's only because we couldn't be bothered to pause the fun.

I really could keep going, since as is quite obvious, I took away more than just adorable pictures from this visit. Hard to say whether Marcus is old enough to bring these memories back with him, but I'll pretend he somehow will.

Oh yeah, did I mention his mom (my sister) and dad also came to visit? Oh well - it's the Marcus show. Until next time, my two-year-old source of wisdom. Muah.