Hypocrisy Shypocrisy

The first few days of a week of shenanigans with Marcus

Three years ago, if you’d have asked me about children – standard questions like when they typically start talking, how long they wear diapers, what games are fun at certain ages – I’d have stared blankly at you and mouthed something smartass about why I didn’t want to be the type of person who knew answers to questions like that. I wasn’t interested in kids. Concluded I didn’t want them. See, I’m the youngest of three, so the babysitting didn’t fall to me. And instead of picking up babysitting jobs throughout high school, I decided to wait tables at a local Bavarian Buffet, putting my contact with kids at almost zero and my Czech word knowledge at about six.

Fast forward to today, in which my almost three-year old nephew has flown from Ohio to spend the week with me in Arizona. My knowledge and compassion for him as a child (and at this point, it’s Marcus-specific) has ballooned; my Czech word knowledge, on the other hand, has plateaued.

It shouldn’t be a huge shocker really, that we sometimes do a 180 on our affirmations and views on life from our teen years. But it’s been a pretty dramatic U-turn for my life, most notably in how it’s turned me into somewhat of a hypocrite. This week, it's been not at all uncommon to find me doing the senseless things I always found puzzling about adult behavior when around their children. Like making everything a song and dance. Already today we’ve turned simple statements like “We need some fennel” into the hokey pokey. Or, when adults do things in public places that are just plain disrupting to others – like, chanting and clapping and stomping across the grocery store after normal, every-day achievements are met like not screaming. We did that. Or, and I’ve been horrified to come to terms with this one, when you see yourself asking questions directly to the child that are clearly indicated for somebody else within earshot. We all know this passive aggressive move. You know, the comments like, “Marcus, maybe if you ask the nice lady, she will scoot over and let us by.” I did that too. Today. Several times. 

Or just saying the word “potty.” I’m fighting this one.

Guilty of hypocrisy, and having far too much fun with it.  The dynamic duo strike again. It's going to be a great week.