* Showering - Just when I thought the shapely fiberglass shell that covers my leg and foot was grotesque, the act of showering reared its ugly head. Cardinal rule #1 in castdom - thou shalt not get it wet. So, an OCD certified process of wrapping it with trash bags, rubberbanding it, and roping drop-cloths has become my morning ritual. From there, I try and avoid the mirror; the image of myself naked with that plastic-wrapped appendage is just brutal. And once in the shower, that plastic creation pokes right out of the curtain while my incredible balance enables me to soap up. Pretty much every step of this process brings me to tears.
* Walking - Due to the two-inch elevation the cast and "cast shoe" provides, an elevated right shoe is necessary as to avoid the uneven hobble often displayed by dwarfs and humpbacks. Thus, I was forced to purchase...[insert dramatic music]...the platform flipflop - in my mind only worn by the trashy and Playboy Bunny population. Putting my worst foot forward seems to be the forecast.
* Sitting - Dogs in the office are all good and well...until you're sitting at your desk minding your own business and you glance down to find the Jack Russell/Chihuahua named Roxy rapidly licking the toes protruding from your cast. Let me repeat the first cardinal rule of castdom - thou shalt not get it wet. This dog slobber... will remain until the morsel is removed.
* Running - Oh wait, I can't run. The weight gain has already taken hold of my stomach. The already horizontal slant of the bellybutton is only becoming more apparent by the day.
Part deux to follow...
4 comments:
sir, thanks for the morning giggle. ;)
hope you get that damn cast off soon. and remember - it could always be worse. my friend broke her thumb recently, which posed for many life obstacles.
Honestly I think that you would be getting a lot more respect if you had elected to go with the neon cast, preferably pink. People wouldn't even notice your awesome platform flops. They'd just be like "yo! check out that BABE!!!"
Also I don't see how i am going to be able to sharpie on "coffee"...
I think you're getting confused, jabby. My comment was "I like my casts like I like my coffee." That is not to say I told the cast technician to put a "coffee" colored cast on my leg.
Sheesh.
And also - there are sparkly and neon colors that can easily write on a black cast. In a few days, you can try for yourself.
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