Monday, July 18, 2011

The Underworld: Office Noshers

A continuation to the underworld series, a new sect of this freaky group of society has presented itself: The Elusive Office Noshers. We all know them. Well, we don't know for certain who they are, but we suspect and label who might be responsible. Every office has one. The person who walks by the plate of doughnuts, or bucket of bagels, and like a wild primal being, tears a piece off with their bare hands, shoves it into their mouth, and leaves the scene of the crime completely unfazed. I've seen my fair share of savagery among Office Noshers, but this... this might have taken the cake.

What we have here, is a classic case of an Office Nosher actually putting their mouth to the community treat, and then upon replacing the doughnut into the box they found it in, retreating to their work station. I came upon this particular abomination a little after 3pm this afternoon, and in an act of true revulsion, decided to try and pin the criminal in their tracks. Here's what we knew: Suspect - one of twenty tourism professionals, likely with powdered sugar remains on their clothing. Possible afternoon crash taking place and in need of sugar and sustenance. Upon closer inspection, it appears the Nosher has a slight under bite, and possible dental work on the lower left teeth. Missing teeth in the lower left could be a factor as well.

A quick scan of the office, and no powdered sugar trail to boot. Four o'clock rolled around and as suspects began to take off, I got side tracked on another project.  Not to worry - I'll be finding the convict tomorrow - no doubt. I'll leave the group with a second picture more closely depicting the sugary evidence.


Stay tuned, San Diego.

2 comments:

FifthWheel said...

I HATE THAT! Take the whole thing or get out of the kitchen.

The Possum Hunter said...

Couldn't agree more.