Nth Annual Bell Boy Reunion - Bubba Burgers. Beaver Beer. Bustin' Britches.

When I spend time individually with my family members, it's slightly noticeable that we're a little different than most families. Honestly, who's normal these days? When spending a weekend with the whole Bell side of the family... all rounded up at once... on a dock... with beer - things become a bit more apparent.

Incidents Worth Reporting On -

1. The Angry Brother Who Honks at a Man's House Every Time He Passes By.

The angry person... is my older brother. Years ago (in high school), there was a guy named "Birchfield" (no exaggeration here, that's this man's last name). Beau had a mishap with his trusty Honda Accord, and long story short, it blew up and burned to pieces. This "Birchfield" character, who lived right next to my Mom and Dad's place back then, laughed at the car burning. That affected Beau greatly. Since that day, "Birchfield" has moved, and still to this day, nearly ten years later, each time Beau passes his house, he lays on the horn and curses him. "Birchfield"'s new place is on the main road home, and traffic or no traffic, the horn gets blown. No shame.

2. The Town Doctor Who Invents Illnesses For Fun.

We were all sitting on the dock as my mother tells this story to the clan. She says the two Golden Retrievers named Mollie and Wesley, that have become their new children, were licking everything in sight: interior walls, flooring, each other, the deck (splinters in the tongue - ouch), grass, cars, etc. This went on for a week or so, at which point she brought it up to her husband (my dad, aka 'the doctor'). He immediately and affirmatively deduced Mollie and Wesley had 'erlickulosis' - a serious disease contracted by ticks that causes dogs (and humans, rarely) to literally, lick everything in sight. It was something that should be addressed at once.

Just short of my mom taking the dogs to the vet, the illness turned up to be fabricated...by Doc Bell, once Mom called him out on his lie. He chuckled to himself as the story was told. The rest of the weekend, we were skeptical to say the least of his stories.

3. The Savior of the Sinking Dog.

To put it simply, my 21 year old cousin saved one of the bulldogs from sinking in Beaver Lake. The scary thing - bulldogs...they can't swim. Not at all. When dropped into the water, they sink quickly.

So, after one of the bulldogs tripped overboard, my cousin dove into the lake and saved the dog. He was talking to me on the porch of the lakehouse. He had tears in his eyes when he told me, "life is beautiful, Rebekah." He's struggling with life direction and the menaces of being a young adult.

Is he the sane one? He's so right. Life is beautiful, folks.

4. The Uncle Who Lives His Life Without His Hip.

My precious uncle had a few shining moments this weekend, which is not unusual by any means for Uncle Billy. He's an affectionate and deeply country man. He just became a grandfather and told the story of his proudest moment upon earning this title. The proud moment he boasts- his grandson sitting on his leg, bouncing up and down on his knee... trading crude oil with him.

This same dear Uncle Billy, has been waiting for his aching hip replacement to take place when he turns 65. His theory is that between medicare and evolving technology, a little pain is worth it.

Uncle Billy was also instumental in the trout line that was set for the weekend. He proceeded to cut each fish in half (with the serrated blade we used to cut the muffaletta we enjoyed for lunch)and threatened everyone in the boat with the temptation of eating each fish raw, as he dangled it in front of his face. They looked so 'tasty and ready to eat,' he grunted, smiling ear to ear.

5. The Girl Who is Stupified By Getting Older (and Possums).

A rite of passage took place this weekend on top of the normal Hillbilly debauchery. As my mother's fingers have succumbed to arthritis, her rings don't fit her any longer. Thus, I was the recipient to her finger jewelry. Some items, were very, very special. When I got on the plane to fly back and was intently examining the rings, I couldn't help but notice the emotion boiling up from my airline seat.

I am getting older. Shouldn't that mean I've settled upon or am at least closer to an adult and purposeful existence?


Pfshhhhhhhhhhhhh. Circling back. Another Bell Boy Reunion in the bag. A grand old time indeed.