Casts - They're Assholes: Part Duex

Nine days until D-Day - the day I get this fiberglass morsel removed from my leg - which some might consider a short amount of time. I, however, think of it as nine additional days (216 hours, 12,960 minutes, 777,600 seconds...you get the idea) of non-exercise, hobble-legging, continued ridicule, plastic bag showers and an array of mini research projects I throw myself into these days. 

Casts continue to be assholes, continued:

* Casts are attention whores. The acceptance of others to inquire, gawk and even allow their children to touch - IT'S NOT OKAY! Consider this an extension of my leg; do I go staring at others' legs, even rubbing them when they might look a little especially unique, bumpy or discolored? No. No way. Not now, not never. That glorious day that the "Oh dear, what happened to your leg?"  exclamations acoss parking lots or "So, was it your ankle or your foot?" snarls over my shoulder stop, is the day I'm a happy chickadee.

* Casts are dog magnets. An extension of the first post, but I will note that an array of dogs continue to approach the cast, and when I'm not fully alert, proceed to get a number of good licks INTO my cast, all over my toes, and often up the top of my foot a bit. Also notable is that my office allows dogs, so this incident will more than likely continue for the remainder of my nine-day imprisonment.

* Casts tear up your nice sheets.

* Casts create a "swagger." I've been informed that when wearing outfits that conceal the cast (pants, long dresses, etc), bystanders see my limpy walk as a strut, or a "swagger," if you will. And when you look at it like that, it's an overly-exaggerated "I love myself and you should too" style-walk. I've since, began to wear items that make my cast much more overt.

* Casts aren't allowed in the pool or hottub.

* Casts give you very unsexy tan lines.

Not surprisingly, my misplaced energy once reserved for running, has been spent on mini-research obsessions. Currently, I'm learning about elderly prostitutes, "furries" and re-learning the history of the KKK. Posts will inevitably ensue.